See, we're on vacation right now, visiting family mostly, but back in the area where we went to college and where I/we have lots of friends from many different times of our lives.
It's said that you have seasons of your life, seasons for friends too, but I don't like the idea of giving up friends. I understand that you move on and I am not interested in forcing friendships, but sometimes you don't move on because of people, but because of time and distance. It can be nice to catch up when you have a chance.
Yet, how many people can you really catch up with in a given amount of time? What does that mean for the current relationships in your life if you are always trying to catch up with old ones? Is there a limit to the number of relationships you can have at any given time?
These are things our new media and interconnectedness will force us to face now that we never would have even thought of in the past.
I'm a planner (as my husband so nicely likes to point out) and I usually take the time we have for our trip and try to fit in as many friends as possible. I've relaxed a bit in the last couple of years because it's just too tiring with small children to be going and doing every single day.
But this time I didn't plan anything until we got here (his way) and now it seems that we have only managed to get together with one family and one friend from college. It makes me wonder a few things...
Is my ultra planning ahead helping me to connect with people who really do want to see me? Or do they simply feel obligated because I gave them enough fair warning we were coming?
And I suppose the ultimate question is; what does it mean to connect anyway? Is it just to catch up - in a Christmas letter type way - or is it to come alongside someone and be with them in many things? And how many of those connections do any of us really have?
This is a post prompt from The Gypsy Mama. Join in?
PS. How do you connect with someone? I don't find sitting and watching movies or playing video games to really connect me with anyone else, but apparently guys do?
Stopping by from 5 minute friday :)
ReplyDeleteReally enjoyed your thoughts on connection! Sometimes it's hard to connect deeply.
There seem to be so many things I wish there was more community and family in modern life, sometimes it feels like things are becoming more dispersed.
in this missionary life my husband and I (and our kids - as they've joined us) for the past 17 years... we know quite well the idea of coming to an area and trying to connect and re-establish relationships. many of these people partner with us (by sending and/or by praying) so we really do need to connect. but it is much harder with those who never make the effort while we are overseas. we find ourselves balancing between your and your husband's way of "connecting" and ultimately, we've found the second more profitable over the long run.
ReplyDeletemy favorite way to connect is visiting over a cup of coffee or hot tea... around a campfire in the back yard... camping in the woods... canoeing down a river... just hanging out talking. i do think guys are different than gals in this respect. someone once told me that women prefer face to face connection while guys prefer shoulder to shoulder.
thanks for such a thoughtful post today!
Awesome thoughts.
ReplyDeletewhat a good question.
ReplyDeleteyou know, i do think there are different types of connections at different times... sometimes i think the Lord is even testing our hearts when the connecting we are seeking with particular people doesn't work out (for whatever reason, but usually it is busyness) and will we stay tender towards them even when our feelings may feel a bit hurt. i have been there... many times. many times there are people i feel like i have invested into that don't seem to respond how i imagine i would respond, but thus is the nature of following Jesus... serving others and loving them how we would like to be loved whether they return the gesture or not. anyways, sounds like you are asking the right questions and doing your part to keep relationship and bless others. those in relationship with you are blessed.
visiting from 5 minute fridays.
my recent post: did you look into their eyes today?
I understand this, Krista. I often feel overwhelmed by the number of people that I want to connect with - siblings, cousins, high school classmates, neighbors, church families, homeschooling friends, etc. Not to mention "friends" on social networks too!
ReplyDeleteI wish I had time for absolutely everyone, but I don't...which means I have to "pick + choose." It's not the best solution, but I'm not sure what else to do.
As it is, I have "picked" a few close friends to talk with, love, and care for regularly. Then, I do what I can to stay in contact with the rest...
P.S. Did you read this NY Times article about making friends after age 30? http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-of-making-friends-as-an-adult.html?_r=3
stephanie@stephaniesheaffer.com
This post really made me think. Personally, I think there are several types of connections. There are connections you make with people who have potential to change your life. There are connections you make with a friend who walks beside of you throughout the years. And then there are connections that you make with your spouse. Words cannot even describe the bond that God blesses you with there.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is hard especially when you have a new baby! That is what I have been dealing with lately. I post about it a lot at kaelynnjudd.com. I would love for you to stop by sometime and share with me!