Forgive and forget. That's what they say anyway, but so much easier said than done.
We've been reading a book on forgiveness in our Bible study and I love it. It talks about what forgiveness really is (and it's not what a lot of people try to shove down your throat) and how at the root if it, it sets YOU free, not the person you've forgiven. As sometimes they don't even realize they've done anything wrong.
But I digress. When it comes to forgetting I think it's important. But not in the way that you let people walk all over you. It's healthy to have boundaries when someone has repeatedly done hurtful things to you.
On the other hand, I'm so thankful that God has forgiven me and forgotten those things. Now I need to do the same, especially to those closest to me. Bringing up, or even stewing on old hurts does nothing, but promote bitterness.
Sometimes it's hard to see a change when you're right in the middle of it. And it's okay to allow that change to happen slowly, sometimes painfully slowly, as long as there is intention and progress. No one changes overnight, especially not me.
Now, to forgive and forget for myself. This one may be the hardest of all. Aren't we all our own worst critics? But as the book said, you can't forgive others unless you first start with yourself. And I would like to be free.
This is a post prompt from The Gypsy Mama. Join in?
Forgivness is not usually easy, but the rewards are many when we finally come to that place. Praying your complete your journey there, and are blessed for it. Bless you, friend.
ReplyDeleteOoh, yes. Forgiveness of self seems to come so much harder than forgiveness of others.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the reminder that we have to start with ourselves.
What book are you reading in your study? It sounds like a great read.
Hi Krista. I'm a first-timer stopping over from lisa-jo. I thought about forgiveness right away when i heard the prompt also. I really appreciate what you wrote--it's really provocative for me as i'm not sure about the "forgive yourself" idea. But on the other hand, I think our faith is weak when we hang on to things we've done that we are promised God has forgotten . . .
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is so hard. Sometimes it means dying to my selfishness of wanting to hold on to the bitterness...and the feeling of I am right and THEY are wrong. It basically costs me my pride. And that is ridiculous when I think about it.
ReplyDeletetotally agree. it has VERY little to do with the person who offended you and A LOT to do with your own freedom..I always liken it to telling a security gaurd someone is bothering you (either at a mall or a restaurant) you let the security guard deal with the person and you are allowed to go on your merry way...God is the security gaurd- tell him who hurt you and by letting HIM take care of it you've released yourself of it and started to forgive...
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my most favorite topics EVER!!!! I have had to really struggle in this department, but have stopped to think about all of the horrible things I've done to people in my life. I'm not a horrible person, but there have been times that I definitely wish I would have chosen another path in a way I responded to something, or said. I have realized that forgiveness is the beauty of life. We definitely should never be a fool, but being able to give others a chance while NOT holding the past above their heads is a beautiful feeling - especially when it's done for you. We absolutely MUST be able to forgive ourselves for things - not easy, but also a great feeling. It's something I don't believe we can do on our own.... something we definitely need God's help in.
ReplyDeleteC.S. Lewis writes in 'Letters to Malcolm' that he thought forgiveness was the most difficult thing for a Christian to do. He says something to this effect, "I think I have finally forgiven someone for what they did to me 30 years ago." Forgiveness is a choice, like love; however, sometimes it's a choice that must be made over and over and over again. May God give us grace to forgive, both ourselves and others.
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