If I knew I could, I would...

Intentionally blurry, like me

If I knew I could, I would start my own photography business full time.  I mean, a for real photography business that does babies and weddings and seniors and families.  None of this, I sort of do photography, when I have time.

And I know you're supposed to specialize, find your niche, but I love it all.  Even nature photography.  Half the time that's the only thing that will hold still long enough for me to get all my settings right.

Cherry Blossoms

I guess that's the other thing.  If I knew I could, I would stop criticizing myself in front of other people, especially potential clients.

I love photography, I think it's my one real passion right now.  But it seems to be completely on the back burner and with no real reason (other than enjoyment) to pursue it I can't afford to spend the time or the money to make a go of it.

Click on this one to get the full effect

The other night I had the chance to drive up the road a couple miles to the cherry orchards in bloom and I just took a half an hour walking around (in perfect light) taking pictures and trying to get the shots the way I thought they looked in my head.

These are the best of the batch.

The orchardist drove by and wanted to know what I was doing.  For a minute I thought he would tell me to leave and I would be severely disappointed, but he just wanted to make sure I wasn't doing anything weird.  I guess photography isn't too bad and he didn't yell at me for tresspassing.

A hidden friend here

I pretty much lost track of time.  I could have stayed another hour if I hadn't been losing the light.  Then another hour at least, just picking and looking and playing with the pictures.  These have only been very lightly edited except for this artsy one.  I like my photography realistic.

I truly love where I live

This is a post prompt from The Gypsy Mama. Join in?

Wordless Wednesday: Ghetto Van

I actually saw this van (truck? what would you call it?) in the winter driving around town, but it was dark and well, I was driving.  But last week I saw it parked so I couldn't resist the picture.  There is cargo netting across the back end and I believe there were fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view mirror when I saw it before!  My apologies to the lady I caught in the picture, she was in no way associated with this atrocity!

Cosmic Bowling

The only bowling alley in our town is on the way to some of our friends' house.  Recently Cory noticed the sign and wanted to know what it was.  When we told him it was bowling he decided he wanted to go and has been asking every time we drive by.

We didn't tell him that Brian's school was going and we were invited... until the night before.  Unfortunately he had a pretty high fever so I wasn't even sure we were going to go.  But even not feeling well he was determined to go in the morning.

My son's first experience bowling.  Complete with little boy bowling shoes!

He didn't have a whole lot of umph behind the ball so Brian showed him how to Granny Bowl... and yes, I have his permission to post this picture for the public to see!

After about 3 frames Cory was done, but we convinced him that he really needed to finish the game.  And a few minutes later they turned off most of the lights and turned on the black lights and disco lights.  That was cool and he did enjoy it.

Although when we finally go back out in the sunlight I realized my poor son really was sick and looked a bit like death warmed over.  He complained that it was cold in Safeway and put himself to bed for a nap after lunch (first time ever).

Noah on the other hand was fascinated by the very brightly colored balls in the lane next to us and kept going over to look at them.  Here he's also watching the disco lights although you can't see them with the flash.

Look closely and you can see he also discovered the hand dryer and it's blowing his hair.  He of course was also a big hit with all the high school girls!

Dad broke 100 in his bowling and Mom's wrists were bothering her so she too Granny Bowled (and no, I'm not showing you those pictures).  My son almost beat me, but I managed to pull out just a few points ahead of him! (and he had bumpers and help!)

All in all, a pretty fun excursion, but we'll be going back for free kids bowling this summer when Cory's feeling better!

Taking After Uncle Kevin

Oh I am in sooooo much trouble with my second child!

Tonight we had friends over so we were playing a party game on the Wii (better than playing with the computer that cheats!).  Noah was playing around with his toys on the floor and I looked over to find him doing this:

Yes, that is my 13 month old son balancing on a ride-on toy.  In case you missed it, here's another picture.

He did it all by himself and was just standing there watching us play our game.  Of course I had to run for the camera.

This is the dismount...

And this was trying to stand up again, but the feet were a little too far back... when he actually stood up the 4 wheeler did a wheelie and dumped him off the back.  Absolutely no harm to him though...

It's been just barely a month that's he's walking on his own and the more he learns to control his own body the more he does...
My younger brother is a total daredevil and into all the extreme sports... I have a feeling he'll have a shadow shortly!

Wordless Wednesday: Moon

Driving home from my parent's house Sunday night, this was just coming over the horizon.  Straight out of camera, no color editing at all.  I see the full moon wasn't actually until Monday night, but it was amazing.

Daredevil Child

On Friday I took my boys to the park.  I thought it would be warm enough for a picnic, but the wind made it cold.  When our friends showed up to play we got a bit warmer running around!  Since he is finally mostly walking Noah got his first real chance to play on a playground.  Once he discovered the slide (the big one) that's what he wanted to do.  And none of this riding on mom's lap business, he wanted to go by himself.

I didn't get any pictures because I was too busy catching said child at the bottom... but on Saturday we went to a friend's birthday party and they have their own play set.

Headfirst, the preferred sliding method.

Grinning all the way down

This one's my favorite!

Or maybe this one...

Racing babies!

I think we've decided, about the time Cory is willing to go on big roller coasters we'll be ready for Disneyland.  Even though he's 3 years younger Noah is already trying and willing to do anything brother does, no fear!

On Distance...

I love my friends.  I am one of those people that will try as hard as I can to hold on to as many friends as I can.  I have over 400 friends on facebook and most of these are people I truly consider to be friends.  I say this not as a point of pride, it's simply who I am.

In a way I am so thankful for facebook because it has made it so much easier for me to keep up with my friends.  Ninety percent of them do not live anywhere near me and most of those I haven't seen in the last 5 years, if not 10.

I have lived in far flung places with people from equally far flung places and when we left it was with the impression that we would probably never see each other again.  Some of them were better than others at keeping in touch, but facebook has made it that much easier.

Some of my closest friends actually don't live that far away, a 3 hour drive perhaps, but still I don't get to see them enough.  Many times I have wished for a teleporter just so I could go and hug someone and sit and talk for awhile.

My Australian penpal who came to visit in 2006 - and may come again next year!

Once in awhile I love the distance because I love the journey, the travel to get somewhere and seeing all the things in between.  But distance is hard.  I wish I could have all my friends close!

This is a post prompt from The Gypsy Mama.  Won't you join us?

Things I Love: Crazy Rumors Lip Balms

Since I admitted to you all last summer that I'm addicted to lip balm I think I've become even more addicted!  I bought some vegan, all natural, and almost 100% organic lip balm by Crazy Rumors in the Lemonade flavor.  It was so yummy that when I used it all up I asked my mother-in-law to bring me more at Thanksgiving!

The one in the fridge

Originally there were four citrus flavors in the store: lemonade, orange juice, pink grapefruit, and limeade.  What I didn't know is these are just one set of 7 they make!  I do love citrus and I'm not sure I would have been as tempted to buy them if this particular store had the other flavors, but I have been converted!

See, the story goes, at Christmas I went and bought the rest of the flavors in the Fresh Squeezed set.  Limeade quickly became my favorite, but I left it out on the bathroom counter and my dear son smooshed it.  I wasn't willing to give it up so I put it all back in the barrel and it now lives in the refrigerator so I can still use it!

The one the hubby doesn't like to kiss

Then, since I wasn't going to Oregon for awhile I noticed there was a website on the tube and looked them up online.  Unfortunately no one in our area carries them, but you can order them online!  I wasn't quite willing to pay shipping for one or two tubes, but they were nice enough to send me a couple of new flavors to try!

I am a big fan of all things Apple Spice so this one from the Brew collection sounded yummy, and it is!  It smells like mulled cider tea and I love it!  Unfortunately my husband is NOT a fan of this flavor in any form so I try not to wear it when he's around.  Or else it's payback when he's had a beer and I don't want to kiss him don't like his breath!

The one the hubby does like!

I also wanted to try Raspberry Sherbet from the A La Mode collection (all ice cream flavors!) and found out later that this one is their best seller.  I can certainly see why!  It's not too sweet, but definitely the right raspberry flavor!

And finally, on my wish list, they have a line of lip balms with natural mineral color added called HibisKiss.  The name is so cute and I would try any of the pink/red colors!

Next item on my wish list!

I'm trying to convince my local health food store that they need to carry these products, but until then I'll just have to stock up on our twice annual trip to Oregon!  They recently revamped their website so the store locator is currently down, but check back soon to see if they're in stock near you!  Or just contact the owners, they're great about getting back to you, especially on facebook!

If you want to order your own try the code HOP for 15% off your online order through April 30th!

What do you love?  Link up with The Diaper Diaries!

Crazy Rumors provided me with the 2 new lip balms to try out, but obviously my love for them is all my own!

Wordless Wednesday: Me and My Boys

On Saturday while I was up at my parent's there was a guy I know doing free headshots for facebook. I actually know him because I went to high school with his wife and this was the first time I'd met him!  But he was cool and in honor of some people who've died recently (including my brother's friend) he wanted anyone to be able to have a recent picture of themself and he would give a small version for free.  It's hard for me to be in the pictures so I don't have many good pictures of myself with my boys.  This was perfect and I love how it turned out!  Many thanks to Chris Ohta Photography!

A Day at Nana and Papa's House

On Saturday Noah and I went to pick up "brother" who had stayed over a few days at Nana and Papa's house.  We brought Noah's new ride on toy that he got for his birthday so he could really have some space to ride it.  Unfortunately it's not proportioned well for him so he's either standing up (as in the picture below) and kind of shuffling or just going backwards.

Good thing they live on a dead end as he always seemed to end up in the street!

While throwing the ball for Cayenne it ended up in the neighbors yard where she couldn't find it so Nana and Cory went to look.  Noah quickly abandoned his rider and took off after them.  He's getting pretty good at walking although he tends to get going and his torso is faster than his feet and eventually he face plants!  So far no major injuries from it!

Cory's getting a bit too big for the tricycle, but at least he's finally figured out how to pedal!

Cory and Nana had made cookies for Papa's choir festival this weekend and when I arrived he wanted me to have one right away.  On it's way to my mouth it was waylaid by Noah.  He got a bite and ahold of the cookie with both hands.  Any time I tried to move it away from him (so I could maybe have a bite!) he quickly pulled it back and took another bite, even if he hadn't finished his earlier bite!  I think he had 3 or 4 bites in his mouth at once and we were all cracking up!  The kid knows what he wants, especially when it comes to food!

We're going to visit Aunt Allison and Uncle Joel for a week in June and I told her, be prepared for 3 adults and one child... the third adult is Noah!  He eats everything and almost as much as I do!

Cory and I went down to listen to Papa's rehearsal while Noah was napping, but I didn't get any pictures.  L-bow the clown sings in the choir and stands right next to Papa.  He had done a show at the welcome reception the night before (which is what the cookies were for) and Cory was asking me why he was in the choir!  And also if he could hear.  Apparently part of his show is that he pops a balloon and then pretends he's gone deaf.  So I had to explain that he really could still hear, it was just pretend.  4 year olds are quite literal...

And we have a climber on our hands.  Noah was so interested in what was outside.  But as I turned away he started crying because he couldn't get down.  Now to teach him that part!  He does actually know how to turn around and go feet first off a couch or bed, bonus!  But he has a hard time when he can't see first where he's supposed to go.

Fun times at Nana and Papa's house!

Painting... with COLOR!

For the last 10 years I have lived all but one year in dorm rooms and apartments that were white.  And I wasn't allowed to paint.

When we moved last year one of the first things I did was find paint chips of the colors I wanted for all the rooms.  But someone wouldn't let me paint while I was pregnant or afterwards with Noah in the house.  Kind of hard to do when the baby wants to nurse in the middle of the day!

Since we have finally graduated to not having to nurse in the middle of the day the boys all went to my parent's house yesterday and I painted.  Whoop!

One wall in the boy's room (yes, there is a baby in that bed, it was nap time and I needed a picture with light before it was too late!)

and one wall in the living room.  I absolutely LOVE how it turned out! 

I used the Natura paint by Benjamin Moore because it was supposed to be actually no VOC's, but I was still a little high after 5 hours over a paint can, even with ventilation.  Or maybe my headache was because I didn't get enough sleep the night before.  Either way, this paint is acrylic as opposed to latex and I'm not sure how it's going to work out.  It seems to scratch really easily (even with 2 coats) so I'm a bit worried as to how well it will hold up to the boys.  But maybe it just needs more time to dry fully and get hard.  We'll see!

I have grand intentions for the rest of these cream colored walls too!  The rest of the living room will be a tan color and the boys room will be a very light blue, more periwinkle than powder blue though, I don't like that shade!  Now to find another time for it...

What do you think?  Do you like bold colors?  If you could repaint in your house what would you change?

Things I Love: Tiny Prints (with Giveaway)

Did you know?  Mother's Day is just a month away!

I'm one of those people who will occasionally think about it now, think of something to do, and then forget about it until it's too late to do it!  Especially when it comes to cards.  But I now have a trick up my sleeve...

Tiny Prints has branched out into more than just cute invitations and birth announcements (see Noah's birth announcement), they now do cards and stationary too!  And I lurve me some cute stationary!

The best part is?  You can pick out your card today, personalize it, and then set it to be mailed to your recipient at a later date!

Now, I'm not going to tell you which cards I picked out because both my mother and my mother-in-law read this blog!  But I will let you browse the Mother's Day cards for yourself.  (bonus points if you can figure out which ones I picked)

These cards are awesome.  Not only are they printed on super thick high quality paper, but that paper is all eco-friendly recycled paper!  And every card's text is completely customizable.  So say you like a card for it's design, but it says "for Grandma" and you'd really like to give it to your sister.  Just change the text in the editing process!

During that editing process (which is super easy) you can also use the greeting that's already in the card, pick from one of hundreds they have available - in a handy pop-up box - or simply erase it and write your own.  Now that's customization you can't get at your local card store!

Speaking of the local card store... have you seen the prices lately?  Well, I'm here to tell you that Tiny Prints cards are higher quality and many times lower priced!  Especially if you join the Super Sender program.

And... right now all Mother's Day cards are just 99 cents each with the code MDAY99 through April 14th.  Free shipping to yourself or simply the cost of a stamp to send it directly to Mom!

Win Your Own!

Tiny Prints is offering four of my readers the chance to win a pack of cards for Mother's Day!  Each pack will contain 3 cards ('cuz sometimes there's more than moms to give them to!) that you will be able to choose and customize yourself!

To enter: Simply visit the Mother's Day cards page and tell me which one you'd pick for your mom, or that special lady in your life.  Leave a comment telling me which one and you're entered!

Bonus entry: Vote for my entry on the Mom Central grant program on Facebook.  (once only) And leave me a comment that you did as I cannot see your vote unless we are friends there.

This giveaway is open to any person worldwide and the winner will be chosen on April 14th.  Please leave an email address or a link to your blog where you can easily be contacted.  You will have 3 days to reply or I will choose new winners.


Other products

Tiny Prints also has Easter cards personalized greeting cards, thank you cards, business cards, and custom wedding invitations. They offer party invitations for every occasion and personalized photo-gifts like notebooks, photo books and calendars.

Tiny Prints is a sponsor of this blog.  They also provided me with the cards to conduct this review and the cards for giveaway.  However, all opinions are completely my own and I do love cute stationary!

Wordless Wednesday: Drumming

The drum that Aunt Allison brought us from Africa hasn't seen a lot of use other than as a hole blocker for a crawling Noah.  But we pulled it out the other night and they both had a ball!  Mama on the other hand managed to injure her wrist by drumming too hard or something.  Yes, I am a pro at injuring myself, ask any of my high school friends!

Trying

Hi, my name is Krista and I'm a perfectionist.

"Hi Krista"

 A lot of things in life seem to come fairly easily to me.  School, music, planning.  Or maybe it's just that I stay away from things I know I'm NOT good at - competitive sports, speech and debate, etc.

That said, I never realized I was a perfectionist until roughly this past year.  When you get kids all the perfect planning and organizing and having things exactly the way you want it goes right out the window.  One kid, I worked with it.  Two kids, I'm drowning.

I don't know how to let go.  My house is never as clean as I'd like it.  My laundry is NEVER done (add cloth diapers to the mix).  I haven't finished a single one of the Bible studies we've done in the last two years.  I have a never ending list of things that I DIDN'T get done in a day.

But the biggest thing is my relationship with God.  I can't tell you the last time that I just sat down and read my Bible.  The last time I felt like I had a conversation with God that wasn't more of a one-liner thrown out in desperation. 

Recently I came across a letter that I wrote ten years ago.  An intentional time capsule.  And yes, I was in the habit of writing letters to God back then.  It was my form of journaling. 

I opened it up having no real memory of what I wrote other than it was the fall after I'd spent a summer working in Yellowstone with some crazy intense people and experiences.  The first line kicked me in the gut. "In 10 years I hope I am much more of a godly woman than I am today."

When I look at that and think about that time in my life I remember how much I leaned into God.  I was lost in Yellowstone, completely out of my comfort zone, and He was the only reason I stayed.  He put people there to support me, but I remember spending many hours reading my Bible and the peace that I had in that season was amazing. Not that I didn't have to learn that lesson again a few times, but it was there.  Now, not so much.

The last line of the letter says, "Help me to be faithful to you and content with wherever you take me in life".  And I look at my life today and think, "Where is the evidence of that?"  If anything I feel so much farther from Him now than I ever have.  I suppose you might say I'm content, but only because I don't know where to go from here.  I don't really think that qualifies at contentment.

And I'm not happy with the way I am.  The hardest part is that I feel like I'm trying.  I feel like I've been trying for the past 10 years.  Trying as best I know how and somehow it's not enough.  Whatever I'm doing isn't the right thing to move me "higher up and farther in" (Lewis). 

I feel like because I have somehow failed in doing what I should, that He is not doing the helping me to get there.  That's the part that kills me.  I am at my wit's end in knowing how to change myself and He says He will change me, but I don't see any change.  I want to be different.  I am trying to be different.  Isn't that supposed to be enough?

In the end I'm left feeling not good enough.  Not good enough in the things I do on a daily basis.  Not good enough for God to want to help me out where I'm at.  I know theologically that last sentence is wrong, but in my reality... that's where it's at.  And for a perfectionist, this is a living nightmare.


Please don't tell me I'm wrong.  Please don't tell me it will get better for whatever reason.  This is already taking all I have to push publish, but I can't live like everything's alright anymore when it's not.

Welcome to Married Life's Party!

I'm fashionably late for this party, but that's the story of my life! 

Hi, I'm Krista and I write this blog.  What's it about?  Well, a lot about my 2 boys (3 if you count my husband, and many times he's as rowdy as they are!), my photography habit, and my growing passion for all things crunchy green in this world!

I participated in this party last year (where you can read more about me) as well as in 2008, which is just an older version of last year!  In 2009 we were globe-hopping to visit Saudi Arabia and I just didn't get around to the party!

After over 5 years of blogging there's not a whole lot new to tell you if you're a regular reader!  Although my husband did something totally random tonight...

See all those pictures in the header (and pretty much anywhere else)?  Yeah, he's had that beard the entire time we've been married.  I've seen pictures of him without it, but I personally really really like the beard.  But he's been persuaded by his high school students to shave it all off.  And I think he just wanted to remember what he looked like without it...

I don't think he was too happy with my reaction.  I am very change-averse and like I said, I really like the beard!  So, it won't be this way for long, but at least there's a picture for posterity!

Alright, that's probably enough random for one post!  But before I go, if you don't mind, I'd love your vote in the Mom Central Grant program on Facebook.  You do have to accept the Contests app, but you don't have to do anything other than vote!  Thanks!

I hope you'll come back and visit after this big party is over.  And please leave me a comment so I can specifically visit those who have visited me!

Adios!